Beyond The Wall Bed and Breakfast

Collage of millennium falcon, tank, lowrider bike and RV on a grass lawn

BIG AND WEIRD?

Besides Your Husband …

If You Are Planning On Bringing Something Big, And / Or Weird To Beyond The Wall …

PLEASE HAVE THE COURTESY TO INFORM US OF SUCH MATTERS AHEAD OF TIME

1. It’s Just Courteous
2. We Then Don’t Have To Stop What We Are Doing To Figure Out The “Surprise” You Just Brought Us
3. We Can Have Parking Already Situmacated For You
4. LAST … You Just Wouldn’t Do That Stuff To Friends Or Family

  • Trailer
  • Camper
  • 155mm Howitzer
  • Boat / Yacht / Submarine / Aircraft Carrier
  • Conestoga Wagon
  • Jet Skis
  • Go Carts
  • John Deere Combine (All Large Farming Equipment)
  • Golf Carts
  • Snow Mobile
  • RV
  • Helicopter
  • MinuteMan II (All ICBMs)
  • … More

 OR

  • $10K Bicycles (That Require Security Guards)
  • Canoes
  • Backhoes / Bulldozers / Graders (All Heavy Equipment)
  • Wind Surf Kite (Whatever You Call Them?)
  • Kayaks
  • Rototillers
  • Paddle Boards
  • Bailers (Hay / Straw)
  • Hang Gliders
  • Millennium Falcon (All Light Speed Capable Craft)
  • EDIT – We Have Determined That The Millennium Falcon RULES, And Is Welcome Anytime
  • Log Splitters
  • … More

Folks, We’re Willing To Work With People On These Things (To A Degree), BUT …

At The Minimum, How About Some Advanced Notice?

NO … YOU CANNOT PUT YOUR (FILL IN THE BLANK) IN OUR GARAGE, IN YOUR ROOM, OR ON ANY PORCH. 

Sure, This Sounds Harsh …Terrible, Uncaring … BUT … Michelle and I Have Decided That We’ll Ensure You Are Delighted In Dozens Of Other Ways …

… Ways Other Than Your Dirty, Nasty, Greasy, Sweaty, Tearing Our Door Frames, Furniture And Walls Up Bikes In Our Rooms Or On Our Porches

We Have A Great Bike Rack Covered By A 100%, Completely Dedicated Security Camera. The Bike Rack Is Hidden, And Masked By A Low Palm As Well

As Well, When We Tell You That Your Bikes Cannot Go In Your Room, In Our Garage, Or On Any Porch … It’s Not An Invitation For A Debate (As Has Happened Too Many Times) 

Don’t Show Up Here And Ask, And Then Debate Us … Telling Us That We Should Build A Covered Bike Rack Because, “Bikes Getting Wet, That’s What Ruins Them (As We Were Told Awhile Back) And We Won’t Be Returning”

YES, YES … We Know Other Places Will Let You Have Bikes All Over Their Property, Chained Onto Every Stationary Object Available And Even In Your Rooms (As Some Of You Have Told Us)

Give Them A Call. They’ll Probably “Leave The Light On” For You And You Can Enjoy Their Pancake Machine, Hostess Products, Buffet, Moldy And Bike Tire Stained Carpets … And Especially Their Torn Up Walls

SOLUTION: Leave Them In Or On Your Vehicle While Here … If Our Great Bike Rack Is Not Sufficient

“Check Out This Really Cool Van, DUDE!!!”

 

 

 

 

 

Cheers,

Michelle and Rock

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