Beyond The Wall Bed and Breakfast

Meme of Matrix character saying What if I told you you don't have to keep every customer.

Reviews

This Is Our “Reviews” Page And As Always, With Everything We Do … We Plan On Having A Bunch Of Fun Here.  As You Know, Most Reviewers “Snipe From The Shadows” With Their Keyboards And Remain Anonymous While We Stand Here And Take Their BS …This Page Just A Fair Chance To Tell Things From Our Point Of View When It Requires A Bit More Room, Creativity And Perhaps A Graphic Or Even Chart To Set Things Straight

Like Real Life, We’ll Put Both The Good And The Bad Here, But We’ll Mainly Focus On The “Entertainment” Aspect Of Humans (Especially The “Broken” Ones And Their Reviews)

“THE FUNNY THING IS, WHEN YOU DON’T LET PEOPLE DISRESPECT YOU, THEY START CALLING YOU DIFFICULT”  Tom Hardy

Yes !!!  We’re Currently Coming Up On 600 Reviews From Different Places (Booking.Com, Expedia, Google, Tripadvisor … More) Since Opening May Of 2017 And We’re In The High 90% Range Depending On The Scale (A 5 Scale Or A 10 Scale) Of Approval.  Basically, About 4% Of Our Guests Did Not Like It (And Us) Here And Gave Us Less Than A 5 Or 10 Depending On The Scale.  We Can Strenuously Inform You That There Were No “Flies In My Soup” Or “Air Conditioner Didn’t Work” … Full Out Those Guests Didn’t Like It Here (Mostly Us Personally) … Did Not Belong Here

They Didn’t Read Our Website And Thought This Was A Place They Could Come Trash And Not Bring The Smallest Amount Of Respect Or Common Sense

They Thought It Was A Hotel With Servants, Not Our Home

Michelle And I Laugh … Beyond The Wall Will Never Lower Its Standards Or Put Up With BS From Any Guest For Any Reason.  Ain’t Happening And You Can Certainly Read About It Directly Below.   LOL, Cheers

HALL OF FAME REVIEWS – BINGO BABY

THE “SHAKING OUR HEADS, COMPLETE IDIOTS” SECTION

Current Recipients Have The Professions Of (In No Order)

  • Large, Famous University Professor / Department Head
  • Small Business Owner, Resells Cheap, Promotional Trinkets
  • Attorney Specializing In Insurance Law
  • Realtor, Vacation Properties Manager

DANNY, DANNY, DANNY (Yelp And Expedia)  2018
So Here Are The Highlights.  If This Excites You, You Can Get The Whole Juicy Story In A Detailed, Timeline Kind Of Format Detailing Danny’s First And Last Stay With Us

 — Read About How Danny And His “17 Year Old, Minor Son” Arrived At Our Home At Almost 1:00 Am In The Morning Bragging About Being Late Because, After Flying In To Tampa They Were Greeted, Detained And Questioned By Local Law Enforcement

— Read About “Money Hungry” And Danny’s Declined Credit Card And How It Took Him Days To Pay Us

— Read About Our Version Of “Inappropriate Comments” And Conduct

— Read About Danny’s “Hobby” And How It May Have Cause His Paranoia Regarding Feeling “Monitored”

— Read And Decide For Yourself Where The Label “Creepy” Should Be Applied

— Read About “Overpriced” … Factor In Our 300+ Reviews In Many Places Then Check Our Competitors.  Prepare To Laugh

— Read About “Storage Closet” … All Cottages Over 300 SQFT , Listed In Each Description, Perfect Closet Size, LOL

— Read About How Danny, Several Days Prior, Over The Phone Was Completely Ok With Switching Rooms At Our Request

— Read About How All Our Cottages Are The Same Price, Danny Paid For A Room ……Not A Bed (As All Folks Do Here)

— Read About “Camping Foldout” And How It Has 2500 4.5 Star Reviews On Amazon, Totaling Over 400 Dollars

— Read About How Danny Had His Privacy Sign On His Door 24 Hours, The Entire Seven Days, Because Of His “Hobby”

— Read About How Danny Has Been The First Person To Have Smoked In Any Our Rooms (And Daily)

— Read About How Danny And His “17 Year Old, Minor Son” Left Our Cottage Full Of Trash, Rotten Food And Smoke Smell


You’ll Laugh, You’ll Cry … Daniel’s Story From Our Great Bed And Breakfast Is A Real Thriller.  Check In Out 

BIKES ON PORCH GUY – No Privacy And Rude Owner (Trip Advisor)  2018

 Highlights, The Tease.  If This Excites You, You Can Get The Whole Juicy Story In A Detailed, Timeline Kind Of Format Detailing Their First And Last Stay With Us

— Read About How This Guest Was Asked SIX Different Times And SIX Different Ways To NOT Put Bikes On Our Porches
— Read About How This Guest Damaged Our Freshly Painted Railings And Crushed The Beautiful Vines
— Read About How This Guest “Barricaded” Himself To The Porch, And Blocked Porch Access With His Bikes
— Read About How, After Being Asked SIX Different Times, This Guest’s Excuse Was He Thought Bike Rack Was “Optional”
— Read About How This Guest’s Hearing And Comprehension Skills Are As Impressive As His Reading … Not Sure Why He’s Talking About Sunscreen?

You’ll Laugh, You’ll Cry … This Story From Our Great Bed And Breakfast Is A Real Thriller.  Check In Out

“RUDENESS IS THE WEAK PERSON’S IMITATION OF STRENGTH”

ANONYMOUS – Walks In On Women (Expedia)  2018

Here Are The Highlights.  If This Excites You, You Can Get Our Whole, Juicy Side Of The Story … Detailing Their First And Last Stay With Us

— Read About How “Anonymous” (Sniping From The Shadows) Felt “Uncomfortable” At A Place That Has Over 250+ 5-Star Reviews From Multiple Places All Over The Internet And We’ve Only Been Open For 18 Months

— Read About How “Anonymous” (Sniping From The Shadows) Really, Really Doesn’t Like My Husband

— Read About How “Anonymous” (Sniping From The Shadows) Is Apparently So Appalled At My Husband’s Personality, They Need To Attempt Framing Him As A Creep?

— Read About How “Anonymous” (Sniping From The Shadows) Has An Altered State Of Time, 45 Minutes?

— Read About How “Anonymous” (Sniping From The Shadows) Doesn’t Like Books Or Having To Read On Vacation?

— Read About How “Anonymous” (Sniping From The Shadows) Doesn’t Like To Humorously Remember Kindergarten Rules?

— Read About How “Anonymous” (Sniping From The Shadows) Apparently Doesn’t Have The Basic Social Skills To Simply And Politely Indicate To Another Human That The “Small, Long Talk” Is Not Their Cup Of Tea And That They’d Like To Move On?

We Are Saddened By This Level Of Hate, But Have Enjoyed Bringing You Our Opinion Of Anonymous

VHART99 – Not For Everyone (Trip Advisor)  2019
Our Response … Here Are The Highlights.  If This Excites You, You Can Get The Whole Juicy Story In A Detailed, Timeline Kind Of Format Detailing VHART99’s First And Last Stay With Us

— Find Out How VHART99 Made It To Our “Review Hall Of Fame”

— Find Out What Policy Changes VHART99 Was Responsible For, After Their Ill-Fated, First And Final Visit

— Find Out How Many Policy Changes VHART99 Was Responsible For, After Their Ill-Fated, First And Final Visit

— Find Out What VHART99 Means By “Weird, Tense And Uncomfortable” (Nothing Screams “Victim” More Than When Someone Uses The Term “Uncomfortable” … Spoiler Alert, Hint Gag)

— Find Out Why VHART99 Waited A Year To Write This Review

— Find Out What “Categories” VHART99 Fell Into In Our Response To Their Review

— Finally, Find Out The Other Side Of The Story, The Whole Story When Someone Sniping From The Shadows, Anonymous On The Internet, Not Liking Someone Or Something All Because They Were Politely Asked To “Quiet Down” At 0800 On A Sunday Morning Writes A Review Like This

Folks, You Are Just Not Going To Want To Miss This One.  There’s So Much For Everyone.  Enjoy The Little Wonders That Humanity Provides To Us At Intervals.  This Is One Is Special

“THERE ISN’T A SINGLE PERSON ON THIS PLANET, WHO IS ENTITLED TO TREAT YOU LIKE CRAP … REMEMBER THAT”

HOFFMANS – Marine Drill Instructor (Trip Advisor)  2019
Ah, The Hoffmans … Where To Start? To Find Out The Detailed Truth And Why The Hoffmans Don’t Like Rock, You Can Get The Whole Juicy Story In A Detailed, Timeline Kind Of Format Detailing The Hoffman’s First And Last Stay With Us

— Find Out What Exactly “Triggered” The Hoffmans 10 Minutes Into Their Arrival At Beyond The Wall

— Find Out The Truth Behind The Comment, “They Screwed Up Our Reservation”

— Find Out Why The Hoffmans Were “Cut Off”

— Find Out What An Honest Review, Saying The Same Thing Would Have Looked Like

— Find Out Why Rock And Beyond The Wall Does Everything Possible To Stay Off The Phones

Well, Here’s Another Gem.  Humans Are Amazing.  Want To Know More About Humanity?   Head To Our Reviews Section And Enjoy How This One Gets Broken Down.   On The Edge Of Your Seat Stuff, For Sure

“I CANNOT CONTROL YOUR BEHAVIOR; NOR DO I WANT THAT BURDEN … BUT I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR REFUSING TO DISPRECTED, TO BE LIED TO, OR TO BE MISTREATED.  I HAVE STANDARDS’ STEP UP OR STEP OUT”  Steve Maraboli

THE LUV, LUV, LUV … YOU “GET US” AND YOU “GET BEYOND THE WALL” SECTION
(So Many Coming Soon.  Why?  Because There’s A Buttload But No Time To Show Off, That’s Why)

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